FO News Roundup: March 30, 2009

In like a lion, out like a lion. That's how we treat March at FO. Presently:

• Some Catholic priest in Michigan is all pissed off because the Tigers have a day game on Good Friday, and according to "[t]raditional Christian belief," Jesus was on the cross "from noon to 3 p.m." But that was Golgotha Standard Time, not Eastern. So I don't see what the big deal is. (P)
• We used to have Earth Day. Now we have Earth Hour. Are the environmentalists scaling back their ambitions? (P)
  
• "Why are we suddenly having an explosion in guys asking for vasectomies?" Uh, maybe because they're steeling their nerves with Pop Rocks and Coke? [cymbal crash] (P)
  
• Not just vasectomies, but sleeping pills are hip, too, these days. As in, "wake me up when the recession is over . . ." (P)
• "Whoa there, what's your hurry? Dying family member. Right. Like I haven't heard that one before." (P)
• From the "I Always Thought He Was Creepy Department": the ShamWow Guy beat up a prostitute. His defense: she bit his tongue. (P)
  
• Nice to see the Arab community can put aside its differences and stand as one against a genocidaire and orchestrator of mass rape. Oh, no, wait: they're defending Bashir? Pfft. (P)
• The North Korean government wants to prosecute two American journalists with entering the country illegally. This gives me occasion to wonder: what's the difference between being in and out of prison, in North Korea? (P)