FO News Roundup: March 3, 2009

I'd like to see the confidential terms of Google's settlement of the Agence France Presse copyright lawsuit: it seems like every time I search Google News on a given subject, the AFP tops the list of stories. (P)

• From the aforementioned AFP — there's this talk of an impending "announcement" from Michael Jackson. My guess is he's actually a werewolf. And a pedophile. (P)
• Again, if you weren't sure whether Rush Limbaugh has overthrown the Republican Party . . . (P)
• 74 killed in Bangladeshi border guard mutiny; paparazzi seek proof of Chris Brown/Rihanna reunion. (P)
• If you didn't already believe that book publishers are the worst people on Earth, would it help to learn that Blago has a book deal? (P, planning a memoir-quality crime spree)
• Yeah, OK. Gary Condit didn't kill Chandra Levy; this guy did. But I stand by my earlier statement that Congressmen are statistically more likely to commit crimes than immigrant workers. (P)
• Yes, ma'am. We'll send someone right away. Would you like some fries with that? (P)
• On top of everything else, it appears there's an epidemic of overturned boats. (P)
• Balinese clerics say that yoga is anathema to Islam. Talk about inflexible people . . . Thanks, everybody — I'll be here all week. (P)