FO News Roundup: March 25, 2009

• Next time you catch every red light on the way to work, think about the guy who managed to get hit by two atomic bombs. Let it never be said we aren't enriching your life. (P)
• Reason #507 not to join the U.S. military: between me and the colonoscopy, I want to be the one that does the contaminating. (P)
  
• I'm no economist, so can someone please explain to me why people hoard gold bullion in hard times? You can't eat it, and you can't make anything particularly useful out of it. (P)
• Secularism on the march in Europe: man jailed for praying . . . when he should have been flying the airplane. (P)
• The world comes full circle as former communist countries reject state intervention in the economy and the capitalist West stimulates its way to "Hell". (M)
• Hold that thought. Thirty percent of Hungarians receive pensions and do not work thanks to a mentality of state dependence left over from Communism. The resulting economic crisis there poses a threat to Eastern (and the rest of) Europe. So where were we? (M)