Former President Clinton Negotiates Release of Journalists

WHITECOLLAR REDNECK

So when was the last time Bill Clinton got a girl out of trouble? (cymbal crash)

Thanks, folks, I'm here all week.

My GPS

WHITECOLLAR REDNECK

On previous road trips, I've learned that the lady who provides the voice for my GPS system has a hard time pronouncing some pretty basic words, things like "Maryland," "Peoria," and "Square." But for some reason she has absolutely no difficulty with places in Mississippi - and I'm talking about places that your average American would lose two teeth trying to pronounce. She effortlessly guided me through Homochitto, Natchez rolled off her tongue quite naturally, and Doloroso came out just right. Tomorrow I will test her on Tougaloo, and if that doesn't get her maybe Tishomongo will the following day.

Two Differences Between New York and New Orleans

WHITECOLLAR REDNECK

1) All CVS stores stock impulse purchase items by the cash registers - small things you might not have thought of buying but when you see them there you figure "Yeah, I could use some of that," and you end up buying. In New York, the impulse items are chapstick, gum, and phone cards. At the CVS on Canal & Bourbon in New Orleans, they had six-packs of Heineken and three-packs of Trojans.

2) In New York when you pass someone on the street and they have traces of white powder on their upper lip, you assume they work on Wall Street and just did a line of coke. In New Orleans when you pass someone on the street and they have traces of white powder on their upper lip, you assume it's a tourist who just had beignets.

There may be some other subtle differences between these two towns, but those are the ones I've noticed.