FO News Roundup: April 8, 2009

We know you don't get your news anywhere else. Here's what's been going on in the world the past few days . . .

• Oh, good. Russian and/or Chinese spies have hacked into the U.S. power grid. Didn't this just happen in 24? What's next? A firefight with an African warlord in the West Wing? (P)
• Lindsay Lohan says she's in "absolute hell" right now. She also says she's taking a break to "focus on [her]self." Anybody see the connection? (P)
• Our nation's esteemed newspapers (which are going under, by the way) continue to run stories about developments in TV shows. (P)
• One of those hanging-by-a-thread papers asks, "Is Ping Pong the new foosball?" (P)
• That's right, bitch. You don't mess with an American ship. (P)
• Congrats to CNN, which managed to publish the Mainstream Media's millionth "teen sexting" story in the past week. (P)
• It's not putting opinion in its headlines. Political Correctness is the only possible explanation for the decision to stop honoring a questionable figure. Fox does even more good for the country by gratuitously demonizing some of the best of our world-leading educational institutions. (M)