FO News Roundup: February 18, 2009

Three days, three Roundups. We're on a roll here, but what does Phutsie need to do to get above the fold?

• Die, GM, die! OK, I take that back. I'd love it if they survived, became profitable, and made good cars. But does anyone see this happening? How much more money are we going to burn? These aren't opinions, they're retracted sentiments and open-ended questions. (M)
• I am shocked (shocked!) to find that the Illinois politician appointed by the former Illinois governor is himself a liar and a crook. Do any decent politicians ever come out of Illinois? (M)
• He bit his nails at the table, "gorged on cakes" and was "often lost in his own thoughts at the dinner table." And then there were the rages. Thank you, Fox News. Without these insights we might have thought he was a swell guy. (M)

More...

• Another Ponzi scheme. I think it would be cool if somebody started a meta-Ponzi scheme, where all the guys who run Ponzi schemes could invest and get ripped off. This would truly be the Final Frontier for derivatives. (P)
• Sarah Palin feels "beaten up." What — did her witchcraft shield wear off? (P)
• Relatedly: Q. what's the difference between a hockey mom and an embezzler? A. Bad hair. (P)
• Dang. I'd take that chimpanzee over Christian Bale. (P)