FO News Roundup, February 23, 2010

Seven bullets today:

• Mass killer and IHOP suckerpuncher Amy Bishop may have planted a "herpes bomb" in her lab building. The jokes just write themselves these days. (P)
• Apple's iPhone Patrol: please leave the sex apps to the professionals, people. But as always, keep the fart apps coming. (P)
  
• Nurse, get me 100 ccs of Viagra, with a Cialis chaser. Boner's gone missing! (P)
• If Elvis left the building, would Schiphol air security notice? Because they sure as hell didn't see him coming in. (P)
• Have a heart, Albania. (Yeah, we've done that line before, but who's gonna know?) (P)
• Brown votes for the jobs bill. What kind of Republican are you, Scott? (P)
• Lost in the Fox News outrage: the patriotic hero of their story thinks the Pledge of Allegiance is the "national anthem." (P)